Content about Communication

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CHICAGO — I continue to be astonished at the lack of etiquette regarding use of the cellphone, a device that has become commonplace in the workplace. No matter if you are in an office, the airport, a social environment or just sitting down with your family at dinner, you should show common courtesy and follow proper etiquette.

I heard recently on a national TV show that experts seem to think cellphone use will soon be the major cause of divorce or relationship break-ups. Think about it: during the day or evening, how many times do you break the 10 cellphone etiquette rules that I have listed here?

1. Lower your voice when talking on cellphones in public. Observe the 10-foot rule; if someone is within 10 feet of you, move to a different location to create some space between you and the other person. Use the technique practiced in the Orient: cup your hand over your phone and mouth when talking on your cell.
2. No one, I repeat, no one wants to hear your personal business or issues, so avoid talking about those topics when others can listen in.
3. Avoid taking cellphone calls when you are speaking with someone face to face, unless you think the call you’re receiving may be related to an emergency. In that case, ask the person with whom you are speaking to excuse themselves, or ask them if it would be OK if you took the call.
4. Avoid texting during face-to-face conversations or during conference calls (believe me, this happens). FYI: Others can actually tell if you are texting.
5. You’re using a cellphone, not a landline, so be mindful of the technology. All cellphones have latency, which means there is a delay—some greater than others—when you speak and others hear you.
6. Avoid leaving lengthy voice mails. Simply leave your number, the time of your call, and the issue you’re calling about (be brief).
7. Place your cellphone in silent mode if you are at a conference, theater or restaurant. If you are having dinner with your family, turn it off!
8. Drive now. Talk later. Multitasking isn’t always a good thing. Evidence shows that accidents are on the rise due to cellphone use. Most calls can wait until you’ve reached your destination, and if a call is upsetting or distracting, pull over to have the conversation.
9. Use common sense. Turn off your phone before a job interview, presentation or boardroom meeting. Leave it off at funerals, weddings or anyplace where a quiet atmosphere is mandated, such as a courthouse, library, museum or place of worship. Do not talk on your phone when you are in a public restroom.
10. If you walk around at work or at a trade show with a hands-free device attached to your ear, you impress no one (except maybe an alien who is observing and laughing from afar). Hands-free devices should be used at times when you don’t have the ability to pick up or hold your phone, such as when you are driving a vehicle. Do not engage anyone in a conversation when it seems you are wired to places unknown; this is very distracting.

When it comes right down to it, proper cellphone etiquette is just a matter of being considerate of others.

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CHICAGO — Do you ever get into a discussion with someone who just doesn’t want to listen and attempts to monopolize the exchange? This person asks a question, then attempts to explain what they think the answer is while you’re trying to explain the facts and offer suggestions. This frustrating situation signals a real management flaw.

Good communication skills are built through the ability to listen well.

Listening follows a key first rule: Exercise self-discipline.

The second rule is to remain optimistic. This ensures that your listening is a positive experience for others. Assume the other person’s intentions are good, despite their choice of words or their tone of voice.

A third rule of listening is to be competitive. Your desire to win can get you in front of the prospect or client. Once there, your success depends first upon your ability to listen.

Communication is a two-way exchange of information. As one party conveys information, the other party supplies feedback that is used by the first to ensure that the meaning is conveyed and understood. This is why the ability to listen and comprehend is so important.

Successful managers are always curious. They have hundreds of questions they would like answered and usually many more than they can comfortably ask during a single meeting with a team member. The quality of their questions is a form of communication in itself; it denotes the desire to comprehend and to ultimately lead the organization.

Once managers ask a question, they listen (or they should be listening). They listen to the words the subordinate uses to describe their situation, challenges and opportunities. They also “listen” to the unspoken words communicated by the other person’s body language.

They don’t listen to determine what solution they will provide or what they might sell. They listen simply to understand. This is an act of caring, and is perhaps the most powerful message a manager can convey.

Only after a good manager truly listens to understand does he or she explain his or her own ideas. Regardless of how polished a professional speaker or presenter the manager may be, their ability to communicate their ideas is made powerful by their ability to gather information by listening first.

These communication skills represent the manager’s ability to tie their ideas and solutions to what they gained by listening.

When it is time to convey their ideas, great managers communicate their thoughts so that others can understand them. They have the ability to speak and observe the audience feedback simultaneously.

When listening skills are lacking, the manager believes it is their job to speak and to present their ideas. They move forward without listening, which conveys the powerful and negative message that what the subordinate thinks is not as important.

Not listening communicates a lack of caring. It is selfish and arrogant.

Even if the manager has the ability to speak well, those skills are worthless if he or she lacks the ability to listen.

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CHICAGO — One of the biggest challenges associated with any position in the workforce is using sound, compliant communication, whether you’re speaking face-to-face, writing a report, delivering a presentation, or even writing a simple e-mail.